Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Girl Throws Eggs at Simon Cowell During BGT Final...Amanda Holden Brands her a "Stupid Cow"

 Britain's Got Talent 2013 (© Rex)

At one point I was convinced that the mad woman who stormed the stage was Britain's Got Talent's biggest critic Bruce Forsyth in drag venting his anger on former Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon, until I decided that his legs were too shapely and feminine to pass for those of an eighty-something-year-old pensioner who refuses to retire. After watching Saturday night's incident during the live final, I've come to the conclusion that violinist Natalie Holt is a deeply bitter human being who succeed in making a valid point - one we had known all along but chose to ignore. Pelting the judging panel during operatic duo Richard and Adam's rendition of The Impossible Dream was definitely a step too far, with Amanda Holden branding her a "stupid cow", and Simon Cowell rediscovering his hated for eggs. Even eventual winners Attraction who were overshadowed by Holt agree that "...she is a stupid girl". Yet with all the controversy caused, there's some sense in Holt's subsequent statement which revealed that she was taking a stand against Cowell.

As most of you are aware, I'm an avid fan of reality talent shows like Britain's Got Talent and The X Factor; a couple of years ago I wrote reviews for the Danish version of the latter and applied to audition for Talent. These programmes may have attracted criticism from a fraction of the viewing public, but one cannot deny that these shows are entertaining. In the words of Dermot O'Leary, "Your Saturday night starts right here!" (Mine started with Harry Hill's TV Burp, but as the show is now off-air we'll let that past), and indeed we have gradually seen the return of an era when the weekend was compulsory family viewing, before Rupert Murdoch ruined everything with Sky TV. We have these shows to thank for the careers of Paul Potts, Susan Boyle, JLS, Leona Lewis, and my favourite X Factor contestant Rhydian. Only a handful of contestants have won or indeed achieved great success, but the world of show-business is fickle; many are called but few are chosen.

Although Holt later apologised for sabotaging Richard and Adam's otherwise perfect performance, it turns out that this was only to avoid having to face charges. She later declared that as a musician who had studied in various institutions, she felt frustrated with reality show formats which exploit contestants, and blamed the situation on Cowell's influence on the music industry. As much as I wish to disagree, she does have a point. In recent years experts who had voiced what Holt merely echoed  include Sting, Elton John, and Chris Evans. Even Rod Stewart and Robbie Williams who at different times guest-mentored singers on The X Factor couldn't resist taking a dig at the show in the press; with Williams questionable talent - he himself has admitted that he's not much of a singer - it is a wonder that he continues to release best-selling albums and perform live on tour. Speaking of limited skills, it is no longer news that BGT and The X Factor support mere entertainment over talent. Acts like Chico, John & Edward, Wagner, and most recently Rylan were made to believe that they could have longevity in their careers when in reality they were tuneless. By putting them through to the live shows, the place of truly talented singers have been robbed. Former X Factor judge Cheryl Cole confirmed  that the producers occasionally give priority to 'watchable' contestants, which explains why the deluded Katie Waissel was chosen over the soulful Gamu in 2010. In the case of BGT, how often do the judges buzz off sub-standard performers, only to change their minds seconds later as soon as they notice these acts offer entertainment value unlike singers on the BBC's rival show The Voice which in contrast only allows real talent but constantly slips in the ratings? As I once said of Jamie Bruce, a former X Factor contestant who claims that The Voice saved his life: If you want credibility, go on The Voice. If you simply want to be famous, go on The X Factor.

Holt's boyfriend Chris Waitt has since defended her by claiming: "She objects to those kind of shows and to Simon Cowell and what he represents to the music industry", but he fails to add that she had been a BGT contestant herself in 2012 with her classical band Raven Quartet. Similar acts who auditioned in the past include Escala and Sue Son in 2008 and 2009 respectively, both of whom are now pursuing fairly successful careers. Although Raven managed to impress the judges during their audition, they failed to breeze through to the live semis, leading to one of the members posting a scathing entry on their official blog which has since been deleted, but it is clear that they craved the spotlight for themselves, and saw BGT as a platform to promote themselves. Judging by their past, it is clear that these girls are bitter, and it is possible that Holt is still angry with Cowell for personal reasons.

While I agree with Holt's reasons for disrupting the show, her decision to actually go through with it has ruined any chances of being taken seriously as an artist. She may have received messages of support from fellow musicians, but the question remains: will she ever work in this town again? Even the other three members of Raven have hinted that she may be fired from the group. Sabotaging Richard and Adam's performance was uncalled for, an act with has earned her fifteen minutes of fame for all the wrong reasons. As a BAFTA-nominated musician, she could have used her craft to promote her message of rebellion. Rage Against the Machine successfully did it in 2009, beating X Factor winner Joe McElderry to the Christmas Number One spot; Holt could have gathered numerous classical artists to record a protest song as opposed to promoting vandalism on a family show, but she chose eggs over skill. I have a feeling that next year, following Holt's dismissal, the other members of Raven will audition for BGT a second time, and Cowell will put them through to spite his attacker. Now that's proper TV...

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Princess Madeleine Finally Ties the Knot

Congratulations to Princess Madeleine of Sweden who married British-American businessman Christopher O'Neill in a ceremony held in Stockholm today. After the heartache she suffered following  allegations that her then-fiancé Jonas Bergstrom  had cheated on her some years ago, it's good to see her happy at last. I read about the affair and I can't believe that anyone would cheat on a hard-working, good-natured woman like Madeleine with a photography student based in the UK. Tora Uppstrom Berg, who is Norwegian, claims not to have known who her lover was, but as Norway and Sweden are neighbours, I seriously doubt it. People criticised her at the time, but Madeleine did the right thing calling off the wedding; there's no point jumping into a ditch with your eyes wide open. 

I know it's not easy for a man to adjust his life for royalty, but from what I've heard the House of Bernadotte is down to earth, and I know that most Swedes are very welcoming, so Christopher should feel at home whenever he visits -  apparently he and his new wife will continue to reside in New York where they first met. All that remains now is learning the language! 

Here's wishing the couple a happy married life.

Friday, 7 June 2013

In Memory of Lee Rigby

Following the incident which occurred in Woolwich recently, I can honestly claim that I am disgusted to breathe the same air as Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale. My hearts goes to the family of Lee Rigby, and I pray that both Michaels eventually receive their comeuppance. However, people should realise that blaming the crime on religion is pointless; there are countless Muslims worldwide who disapprove of their actions. Contrary to popular belief, Islam  actually encourages peace, but what I fail to understand is why certain clerics who claim to hate the United Kingdom continue to reside in the country whilst receiving benefits. Why is the government allowing them to stay in a land they plan to bomb to pieces? This is where I get controversial, but I agree that the United Kingdom is too tolerant for its own good - if a British Christian preached hate in Saudi Arabia he would not live to tell the tale. Adebolajo stated that he had murdered Rigby as revenge for "[killing] Muslims in Iraq and in Afghanistan", but have we all learned nothing since September 11? Hate breeds hate. As for all those terrorists, you can take our lives, but you can NEVER take our freedom.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Whitney Houston Remembered

Long before I heard the tragic news last Sunday which made headlines all over the world, I always asked myself; what went wrong? She was one of the greatest singers of all time, and perhaps the last of the greatest singers of her generation. Just as we were beginning to think that her even greater comeback was yet to come, the unthinkable happened. Just six months after the untimely demise of Amy Winehouse and two years after Michael Jackson's sudden departure, she was gone. Who saw it coming? What went wrong?

Whitney Elizabeth Houston had it all - beauty, elegance, charm, and most importantly that voice, a belting voice which sounded mature beyond her years without making her seem old-fashioned and was able to reach our hearts without the use of Mariah Carey-style over-the-top vocal aerobics. A voice that would later be imitated but never duplicated by future X Factor contestants. She may not have been the greatest dancer but hits such as "How Do I Know" and "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" secured her future as a true pop diva while filling dance floors everywhere. However, it was her power ballads that made her legendary, ballads which included  "Greatest Love of All" and "Saving All My Love For You". Who could forget her biggest hit "I Will Always Love You"? Originally sang by Dolly Parton, Whitney made the song her own, which in turn made her an even bigger superstar. A truckload of awards which she added to her already crowded cabinet promptly followed. Had she been involved in the song-writing process, she probably would have matched the previous record of future superstars Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, Amy Winehouse, and most recently Adele, all of whom would clean-up at the Grammys. 

Whitney had it all. She was at the top of her game. But as most survivors know, once you're up there's only one way to go. Some superstars gradually go down with grace and dignity, others fall fast. Whitney belonged in the latter category. She came, she saw, she kicked some arse (I'm British, so I spell that word the British way). Then she landed with a thud.

1992 - the year The Bodyguard soundtrack was released - was also the year she shocked fans all over the world by marrying bad boy Bobby Brown. It was unbelievable; America's sweetheart spending the rest of her life with a guy whose reputation was as foul as his values (Already a father of three children, Bobby had fathered one of them while dating Whitney). For a while we all wished them the best and the couple gave us the impression that their marriage was strong but no-one was fooled. As Whitney continued to shine, Mr. Brown found himself playing the role of Mr. Houston as his own record sales failed to match his wife's success, and judging by his constant scowls in photos of the pair, it was clear the he was jealous. Towards the end of the nineties,  there were rumours of drug-use; gossip which was not helped by images of Whitney's skeletal frame which was a matter of concern, yet Whitney denied the rumours by famously stating in an interview "Crack is whack".  Unfortunately she was living in denial. Eventually she confessed that the rumours were true, duly divorced her husband, returned to the studio, and emerged with her highly-anticipated comeback album which did better than her previous album, but failed to gain a Grammy nomination. Years of drug-use had taken its toll on her once outstanding voice, and her worldwide tour was panned by the public who had once worshiped her. Still, this was Whitney Houston. She was going to bounce back, or so we thought.

Now Whitney is gone. 

What went wrong? Was she a victim of her own success - success which had not prepared her for future downfall? Clive Davis, who had nurtured her from the very beginning, continued to support her through the bad times and till her dying day, but how many people around her were genuine?  The music industry is full is fakes who will build you up and chew you up while filling their already bulging pockets, as Britney Spears would confirm. Talent will only get you so far in the world of entertainment, a world that is so fickle and full of jealousy - even her own green-eyed husband made her life hell over her popularity. She also tried to please so many ingrates. The Black American community constantly criticized her for being a cross-over mainstream artist. Translation: "You're trying to be White" - a accusation not helped by the fact that her love-interest in the "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" video was Caucasian; at the 1989 Soul Train Music Awards she was heckled by an angry crowd who screamed "Oreo!" at her as she walked towards the stage, which was a reference to the popular American cookie, black on the outside, white on the inside. Sales of her next album, the Urban-flavoured "I'm Your Baby Tonight" failed to match the success of her first two smashes. The people who gave her a hard time should be ashamed of themselves - at least she was trying to break down barriers but they still ridiculed her, which shows how seriously they took Martin Luther King's words of wisdom. She couldn't do anything right in anyone's eyes, despite the accolades, and it broke her.

Was it the drug-use?  As a Sun newspaper reader said yesterday, "It's very sad she's died but the real Whitney left the world behind a very long time ago". Her disastrous performance on the UK X Factor in 2009 proved that all that Whack Crack smoking had ruined her voice. What pushed her into drugs in the first place, the pressures of fame? 

Was it her turbulent marriage to Bobby Brown? While I am not blaming him for his ex-wife's downfall, we can't help but notice that her problems started after their high society wedding. Add to that the trashy reality show the couple starred in - was it a true reflection of their marital life? According the recent reports, Whitney had only married Bobby to hide the fact that she was a closet lesbian. Prior to dating Bobby and comedian Eddie Murphy, it was said that her actual love was close friend Robyn Crawford who reportedly fought like a jealous lover whenever Whitney was in a relationship with a man. Gay rights activist Peter Tatchell had said that she was happiest in the eighties with a female partner ("Perhaps her inability to accept her same-sex love contributed to her decline"). I don't support Tatchell's decision to 'out' Whitney so soon after her death, but if the rumours were true, it's a pity, because while I believe that she should have been true to herself, there is no doubt that several fans would have been disappointed. Football Justin Fashanu came out during this time and dearly paid for it. It's so sad that certain people are, in the words of Lady Gaga, Born This Way, but could face prejudice which would eventually ruin them, but hiding in the closet could lead to even bigger problems. Either way, they can't win.

As Whitney continues to inspire a new generation of singers, let us remember her life and learn from what transpired. Deep inside she was a good person who got lost along the way, but she still touched us all. She will be missed. There will never be another Whitney Houston.

Friday, 2 September 2011

Jessie Wallace

She waited a long time to find her Prince Charming, and when he finally arrived everybody was happy for her. At last she was with a man who wanted her for just her, as opposed to her money or fame, or both. She was famous as Kat Moon in Eastenders, a role she made her own while he owned a catering business. She waited for the day she would walk down the aisle, exchange those vows, and live happily ever after. She had put all of her heart and soul into those dreams, so she expected nothing but the best. And who could blame her?.

Unfortunately, not all dreams come true. On Sunday, we Brits woke up to the tabloid news that Jessie Wallace's fiancé had been having an affair with an ex, with whom he exchanged naughty pictures via phone including a 'private' shot of Jessie, while claiming that he and his wife-to-be were breaking up. At the same time, he and Jessie had posed for OK! Magazine and declared their undying love for each other. Make up your mind, dude. Did you want to marry Jessie, or didn't you? The whole situation was a dilemma for Jessie, but while most people loath having their private lives splashed across the tabloids, I believe that The Star did Jessie a favour.

I'm glad that Jessie cancelled her wedding on the day they were actually supposed to get married; serves him right. If you think that cancelling a wedding is expensive, try divorce. And who can blame her? Yes, it hurts to find out at the eleventh hour, but what if she hadn't found out at all? By dumping him very publicly, she has shown that she is a strong woman (unlike a certain former X Factor judge), and she will get through this. Shame on all those who sent her hate mail simply because she acted with a great deal of sense - why should she talk it over with him when the damage is well and truly done? He had no respect for the relationship and definitely no respect for her when he decided that Jessie wasn't enough for him. In fairness he has defended Jessie by stating that none of it was her fault, and he's right. Which man who is truly in love dreams of anything as tacky as a threesome?

Jessie will get through this.

PS - If you readers must take nude pictures, make sure they're headless!

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Grudges - Are they really worth it?

Two months ago I wrote an article on famous snobs using a former GMTV presenter as an example, but I forgot to mention actor Erik Estrada who is best known as one half of "CHiPs", the show which launched him to international fame in the Eighties. He has since reinvented himself as a reality contestant, appearing on rubbish shows such as Britain's Worst Driver, but is perhaps best known as the brunt of George Lopez' "F*** that Puto" jokes. Years ago, a young Lopez was star-struck when he learned that his TV idol was shooting an episode of "CHiPs" in his neighbourhood, and longed to shake Estrada's hand; at the time he was regarded as a hero by the Puerto Rican community in the Americas due to his status as one of the few Latinos on Prime Time television. Unfortunately, poor Lopez was snubbed, and this has led to frequent anti-Estrada jibes on Lopez's talk show ("I made it without your handshake, motherf*****... f*** that Puto!"), and uses this to warn fellow celebrities to always respect their fans as they do not know who their fans will be in future. Indeed, Lopez is now a big star, albeit only in the Americas, while former international star Estrada is now... Erik Who?

Apparently Lopez had been eating some greasy fried chicken when he met Estrada, but that was no excuse for the latter's rudeness - if you don't want oily hands, pat his head...or sign an autograph...or both. Better yet, shake his hand and wash yours, but you should never disrespect the people who put you put you where you are. As an individual who was in a similar situation recently, I can see why Lopez is furious, but must he build his whole career on those now dated "F*** that Puto" jokes? He is now famous and successful in his own right, so why not let it go? Yes, after writing that article on rude celebrities, I should be taking my own advice, I know. Until recently I was hanging on to the bad things that had happened to me in the past, and compared to what certain people experience (Wars, earthquakes, famine, etc etc) it was nothing major.

Years ago when I left the United Kingdom to live in Nigeria I was an easy target for bullies due to my height, accent, clothes - and later boobs - and thus began the vicious taunts and bitching. There was a family in the neighbourhood who had a reputation for being overly religious but in reality half of them were snobs and the other half were bullies; one of them actually told the other kids on our way from school not to have anything to do with me. What made everything worse was that the head of that family was a big shot in the company where my father worked, and as a result they were treated like gods. I'm not being horrible, but I know for a fact that the man was a womanizer; he used to hit on one of my cousins, yet his family paraded themselves as angels on the face of this earth, while my only crime was being tall and speaking perfect English, and for that I was treated badly. What a bunch of hypocrites.

Today, years later, I actually feel sorry for them, and it’s not just because some of the children have since passed away. Sometimes bullying is a sign of insecurity, although I'm not sure what triggered those feelings towards me. Even then I was bitter for years; when the news of their death was broken I showed no emotion whatsoever. My mother was furious with me but I didn't care - to me they had all died long before they actually kicked the bucket. And boy, I hated the surviving members so much. Quite rightly, but what are the benefits of holding a grudge? Granted, some people do not deserve to be forgiven (Hitler, Satan...) and yes, even God Himself gets angry, but like George Lopez and me, we sometimes take it too far. By being bitter, we are no better than the people who have caused us harm; if anything we are just the same. And by completely banishing that family for every single aspect from my life and hating them with a passion, I was paving the way for even more hatred toward anyone who I felt had wronged me. Now I've seen sense I can't believe that I lived like that. Why did it take so long? Research has proved that an unforgiving heart could cause certain physical ailments such as blood pressure and anxiety. I should also add that being bitter gave me a hard exterior - people have actually said to me that I look so serious, they are scared to even say hello to me...until they discover that I am actually a big kid at heart. What a shame.

During my finals years in Nigeria just before before returning to the United Kingdom, I read about a man who had been having a secret affair with a female colleague who longed for him to leave his wife and children for her, which he refused, leaving her frustrated and out of spite she revealed the true nature of their relationship to his wife who took the news really badly and promptly left her marital home, taking her two children with her. After countless pleas from extended family members - in Nigeria where polygamy is legal it is sometime considered a disgrace if a woman leaves her husband - she agreed to return to her husband. Unknown to everybody, she was secretly hatching a plan to ruin her cheating husband, who by now was regretting the affair. One morning, while he was ironing, his wife walked up to him and claimed that she hadn't forgiven him; she had only returned for the sake of their children. Her husband simply ignored her and continued his ironing. Little did he know that he would soon be part of an even hotter situation... literally. His wife had secretly struck up a friendship with his half-brother with whom he was engaged in a bitter battle for their late father's estate. He was paid to burn down his rival's house while the family was away on holiday in Abuja. What he didn't know was that they had missed their flight and were forced to return home before catching another flight the next day. Halfway through the journey back home, the man remembered some important documents he had to prepare, and stopped at his office for the night while his family drove home, only to be told that it had been brunt to nothing overnight with his wife and children still indoors. The woman had allowed an unforgiving heart to ruin her life; unfortunately her innocent children had to suffer as well. The half-brother later confessed, but no charges were pressed as both men felt that the battle had raged long enough, and were thus able to put their differences aside. As for the secret girlfriend, she later discovered that she was pregnant and while her now-widowed lover accepted the baby he refused to marry her, despite her pleas - she had contributed to the whole situation in no small way.

It is not always easy to see the good in people who have hurt you - and sometimes we are bitter over petty issues as I was - but we all have to move on and forgive. If you want to make the world a better place, it has to start with you. We shouldn’t always wait for karma to prevail. I'm not going to lie, I still find it hard to let go...a lot. But I'm getting there...


Thursday, 11 August 2011

Yep...I'm Back!

Yes, I've been away for over a month now because I've been really busy. But so much has happened since my last entry. The massacre in Norway. Amy Winehouse's death. Me graduating. That's right, I'm now Jemma Bond, BA (Hons)! Unfortunately, due to the uncooperative nature of my personal tutor, I was refused a reference, and as a result I have to wait one whole bloody year before starting the teacher training course. Until then, I have no idea what I'd do for work. As for this blog, this is one of the finals entries made from Roehampton University, which I will miss.

In a way I was depressed because this blog does not have that many readers...and I only have two followers - including myself. At least the Danes took the time to read my DK X Factor reviews, but my fellows Brits didn't care about my Britain's Got Talent entries (a prophet is never welcome is his hometown...not that I'm a prophet, mind!). But what the heck, as longer as I write and pour out my feelings, am I bothered? Whatever happens, I'll continue to write. And as I move onto a different phrase of my life, the stories are sure to get more interesting.

Thanks to all those who care.

Monday, 6 June 2011

Ryan & Imogen - A Disgrace!

If you were born with beauty - eye-catching beauty that makes men go completely gaga and women envious - you truly are lucky. If you were both with brains, then you are even luckier (Yes, you might disagree with me, partly because these days the media seem to pay more attention to exterior as opposed to interior, but it should be noted that with time, looks fade).  If, however, you are one of the lucky few to be blessed with beauty and brains, you truly are a rare gem. After being forced to see her plastered on every single magazine cover which feature articles of her whining like a spoilt brat who refuses to accept that her predicament was her fault, it is clear which category former Miss Wales Imogen Thomas falls into - beauty without brains.
Any girl with more than at least two braincells - attractive or plain -  possesses enough common sense to understand that a married man is totally out of bounds. I don't care if cracks were showing on the walls of Ryan Giggs' marriage; he was still married, which meant that until he announces a separation from his wife he is a no-go area. Ryan did not announce any separation; he chose to hold on to his golden boy image whilst playing the dotting father/husband, and parading his two young children in front of loyal fans at post-match celebrations, with his wife standing by her husband. A husband who probably spent more time away from home than he spent with her. What we all didn't realise was that behind the good guy image was a hypocrite, who made a living off his good guy image. Imogen fell for him, knowing that he was married, and had an affair which was reportedly "more than just sex". She's right, it wasn't just sex - it was money, because as soon as she realised that the relationship was not going in the direction she wanted, Imogen threatened to sell her story (What is it with these glamour models who 'shag-and-sell'?), and promptly blackmailed Ryan for £50,000. Classy.
And to think that she has the nerve to appear on breakfast television, crying about the injunction and stating that she has been thrown to the lions. Somebody needs to tell her that she did that to herself.  If her affair with a married footie player had been right - and it most certainly wasn't! - she wouldn't have been so secretive about it. Imogen is a beautiful lady who could have bagged a decent man if she had acted with more sense, but she acted foolishly by dating a married man...and today she continues to pay. I almost feel sorry for her; recently she tweeted "I just want to curl up and die",  which is quite understandable as dealing which such negative pressure is hard. Having said that, if she expects the whole nation to rally round her, she can think again. When she was sleeping with Ryan, did she at any point stop to think about Ryan's wife and kids? She has played the piper and the tune has been called - whether she likes it or not, she has to dance.
I have to say, Imogen is very lucky to have the support of her parents; if I had behaved like that, honestly, my father would have disowned me, and that's not a joke. Does she honestly think that she's the only girl to be chased by a married man? Years ago, I met a guy who claimed to be a Newcastle native, and even though he sounded more Peckham-ish than Geordie, I failed to realise that there was a possibility than he could have lied about other things because I was so stupidly naive. I once took the day off work to entertain him where I lived.  I cooked a scrumptious meal. I threw a tub of ice-cream into the freezer. I rented a DVD from Blockbuster. Then I waited. And waited. And called his phone, which was switched off. This was one of his many 'absenteeism's' I was forced to put up with. This was when it occurred to me that he could be seeing another unfortunate girl. My suspicions were confirmed when, a week later, a received an angry text from his wife, who warned me to be careful whose toes I was treading on. She needn't have bothered; I immediately replied, promising to chop his willy off if he ever came near me again - and believe me this was no empty threat because I would have used a knife to change him from a rooster to a hen! Speaking of his willy, I can happily confirm that he never used it on me because we were never intimate (Thank God!), but I was still really angry. Honest to God though, if I had known from the beginning that he was married, I would have told him to go to hell. Call me what you like, but I am not a home-wrecker. Imogen, however, knew that Ryan was married, but she still slept with him. Now that's one man who should be castrated!
Millions of boys all over the world look up to these Premier League football players (What exactly is so 'premier' about their bed-hopping league?) - is this the example they are setting for these kids? A few years ago, a pastor in my church complained that his little nephew would ignore his calls and even refused to acknowledge his uncle on one occasion, but continuously announced to anyone who cared to listen that Michael Essien is his real uncle. Michael Essien? This is a guy who generated numerous column inches thanks to his numerous affairs and drunk driving charges. Don't tell me that kids are too young to understand the bad side of his character, because these days kids know too much (I first knew that boys and girls are different when I went to the seaside when I was eight , ha ha!). And who are they learning from? Exactly, the role models. And one of them happens to be Ryan Giggs. I also blame the clubs - most of them try to shield their players from any grief the media may throw at them, not because they care about the players - and believe me they don't - they simply protect the players to protect the club. Who was Giggsy fooling when he enforced that injunction? As my mother says, there is no secret under the sun. While the injunction was only effective in the United Kingdom, the Irish press had a field day - no pun intended - printing his name, and several people in the UK have access to continental papers, so Ryan was simply wasting his time, and it was just a matter of time before he was exposed. Come to think of it, it didn't take much time. Serves him right.
And as if that isn't enough, new reports claim that Ryan had an affair with his brother Rhodri's wife. Is he for real? Ryan reminds me of the biblical rich guy who had loads of farm animals, but stole an adopted lamb from his poor neighbour which was promptly served to a hungry guest. Ryan had it all - talent, looks, money, and a beautiful family, but he clearly wasn't satisfied. In comparison, Rhodri ruined his chances of becoming a famous football player like his brother, but has since accepted the situation while living a moderate life with his own wife. What he didn't know was that Ryan had reportedly slept with his own wife as the most privileged Mrs. Giggs was celebrating the birth of her child. She is quite an attractive woman who doesn't seem to be caught up in that WAG rubbish; why wasn't she enough for her husband?
And he still has the nerve to say "What the f*** [you] going on about? This has been the worst [two] weeks of my life!!!" Well trust me Mr. Giggs, it's about to get even worse; just ask Tiger Woods.
Ryan & Imogen are a disgrace. And they deserve absolutely no sympathy. Because if you play with fire, you get burnt!

Do you agree with me, or do you think I am too harsh? Please comment. Especially that reader from Mountain View - thanks for reading my blog! If you're not on Blogspot, simply use the anonymous link to reply. See ya!

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Rebecca Black is Annoying!

Once in a while,  we encounter somebody/something that is so annoying that we pray that it would leave our minds and lives the very moment it makes an appearance.  It could be an irritating advert on television ("Go com-paaaaaaare!"), a strict teacher at school who gives too much instruction without actually teaching (yes, they do exist!), that gorgeous out-of-this-world boyfriend who continuously picks his feet/nose as you both snuggle up on the sofa (God forbid!), Lady GaGa (do I really need to explain this one?), or a tune that's so catchy, it rapes the hell out of your ears.
Speaking of the latter, there is a song on youtube that is currently getting on everyone's nerves, yet it has received more hits than the "Bed Intruder Song", which I wrote about a couple of months ago. The difference between the two is that Antoine Dodson's unconventional attempt was aimed at the rapist who had attacked his sister in her own home, but it still managed to be infectious while carrying an important message, and Dodson doesn't take himself seriously, which only adds to his appeal, bless him. Rebecca Black, on the other hand, is trying so hard to become a serious artiste with the heavily-auto-tuned "Friday" and fails woefully, but for some bizarre reason she last week managed to obtain more hits than Dodson, although judging by the comments left by angry youtube users, people had only logged on to heap insults on Rebecca. And who can blame them?

The song's video commences with Rebecca waking up in the morning looking tousled but cute. Seriously, who on God's earth looks that good so early in the morning? She even wakes up singing with a suspiciously auto-tuned voice, and wastes valuable lyric space by singing about cereal. Honey, if you ate porridge as opposed to Frosties every morning - oatmeal as opposed to Frosted Flakes if you're American! - you'll be less hyper, and sane enough not to record that stupid song. Just as you are beginning to think that you have seen/heard the worst, she stands at the bus stop waiting for a bus - of course - and ends up with a convertible driven by a gang of underaged teenagers (in England you could be prosecuted for parking in a space meant for buses). Instead of acting like a responsible girl and urging them to return their father's car, she ponders over whether to take the front seat or the back seat. Here's my advice, love - take the bloody boot (trunk if you're American)! As if that's not enough, three of the back seat occupants, including Miss Black, loose the seatbelts and proceed to dance while the car is moving at top speed. A couple of years ago, a Diet Coke commercial featuring British singer Duffy was pulled from television because she was cycling without a safety helmet. What was the "Friday" video director thinking? Cut to the guy who looks like he's in the wrong video, rapping about everything and nothing; his street cred just flew out of the window, ha ha! And whoever teaches this girl English should be shot; there's a line in the song that goes "We so excited". Really?

All this while she sings the most annoying, soulless, useless lyrics you ever heard. Even Jedward are better than her...by far!

Danish version

People have made fun of Justin Bieber for months, claiming that he can't sing, which is a lie because although I do not own his album, I know that he is talented, really talented - he can sing. Maybe they are just jealous because he became so successful so soon. Same with Lady GaGa, who may be equally irritating, but is without doubt a true artiste who deserves all the success she now has. However, if the same thing happened to Miss Black based on this song alone, then music the world over is doomed because let's face it, she probably hasn't worked as hard as Bieber or GaGa - or the X Factor finalists. Instead she is yet another puppet whose strings are being manipulated by an evil Svengali... oh dear. 

If those youtube users hate her that much, they should stop leaving those horrible comments because by doing so, they are indirectly watching the video, and thus making her more famous. Don't get me wrong, even I myself am a fan of cheesy poppy music (I have a Jedward poster on my wall at home - honest!), but there is annoying, and there is annoying.  At least the tuneless twins from Dublin are entertaining while refusing to take themselves seriously, but the song "Friday" has no redeeming qualities...at all. "Friday" is not a song; it's perversion and masturbation as far as music is concerned - get rid!

Jemma Bond x

Monday, 28 March 2011

DK X Factor - The Final!

The final is here - hooray! I had always wondered why the DK X Factor's stage was small, compared to the one here in Britain. Now I know why - they saved the best for last, and it really was the best! Half of Denmark turned up to see their favourites battle for the top prize in a massive stadium, and didn't seem to mind standing up for most of the show. The host looked more Grecian than Nordic in that stunning dress which was made even more spectacular with the hairstyle she chose than night (I love Danish designers!). Even the contestant's entry theme was 'rocked up', and the judges sipped on wine as opposed to water during the performances - why don't they do the same here? Simon Cowell, you once said that you would like the UK finals to be held at the Wembley Stadium; why haven't you made that happen?

The finalists were Sarah (Denmark's Ellen DeGeneres), Babou (Denmark's Justin Bieber), and Annelouise (Denmark's Kate Moss), but I would have liked to see Patricia - much as I love Annelouise, I didn't think that she would ever be in the final. I also think that Rasmus was robbed - I miss the funny way he pronounces English words! Speaking of rejects, in true X Factor tradition, some of this series' most memorable contestants sang on stage, and compared to their British counterparts who sang "Bad Romance" last year, they weren't that bad. Perhaps they could work on their vocals and come back next year. The other live show contestants sang a techno version of "Time of My Life" and the judges joined them on stage, although I wish Pernille had sang along!

British band Take That returned - complete with Robbie Williams - to sing what has now become their unofficial X Factor anthem "The Flood". That's right, they sang the song twice during last year's UK X Factor, as well as on the Italian version. The band also got the chance to sing "The Kidz" which was banned by Simon Cowell on the British version because the shields carried by the extras were reminiscent of last year's London riots;  it was feared that the performance may have caused offence.  I don't understand why Robbie's voice is often criticised, I think he sounded great, and I'm glad that unlike the time he performed "Bodies" on UK X Factor 2009, he behaved himself!

Babou sang "All the Right Moves" as if his life depended on it, bless him. He also looked good in that suit, and while I think that he dressed properly for a change, isn't that sort of styling a tad too old for him?  Just as I was beginning to wonder what had happened to annoying pop band Aqua, they made an appearance on the show to sing with Babou. Soren and Claus are obviously older but look hotter than ever! Lene, on the other hand, is still getting on my nerves. Seriously Lene, what were you thinking when you wore that weird ear-to-nose jewellery? And don't get me started on Rene! Nevertheless, they blended very well with Babou. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to get him into the final two position; didn't the batteries die on his teenage fan-base's mobiles?

I never thought that the Danish Kate Moss would be in the finals, in fact I thought she would voted off last week. I kept asking myself "Does she deserve to be in the final?", and I have to say that the answer is "yes".  Her rendition of "Breathe Me" was excellent, in fact I don't think I've ever heard her sound this good. I was also happy that she was teamed up with an equally quirky but equally beautiful singer called Fallulah, who had an equally beautiful voice, if not better, but sang off-key in certain parts. Annelouise stunned her hardest critics that night, including myself, and although I miss Patricia, I'm glad that Annelouise made it that far.

Sarah's "Poker Face" was dull. I'm sorry, but the rock intro didn't work, and not even the techno session in the middle couldn't help her - what would Lady GaGa say? However, she more than made up for it when she sang "Shall We Be Grateful" with Danish rock band Carpark North. The lead singer said "Fuck" live on air - Danes say "Fuck"? Personally, I think Sarah should be even more careful the way she choses her songs. Apart from that, she rocks! Or is that techno-rocks?

As with most of the other contestants, Sarah and Annelouise sound even better when singing in their mothertongue, and although I'm not a Danish speaker, the song "Min Ojesten" - which means "My Darling" - sounded beautiful, although I think Annelouise sang it better, and based on that performance alone she should have won. Unfortunately there could only be one winner, and that winner was... (Drumroll) ...Sarah! Congratulations Sarah, and don't forget me when you're rich!

What an amazing two months it has been. This blog is still quite new, but in a short time I have received a lot of support from readers all over the world, particularly from the country that produced Lars Ulrich, Helena Christensen, Hans Christian Andersen and Carlsberg (Carlsberg don't do blogs, but if they did, they'll probably be the best blogs in the world!). Of course, Denmark also gave us Brits Whigfield and Aqua, but never mind, I forgive you. Thank you for the nice things you've all said, and here's to the next DK X Factor...

And please leave a comment on this blog, not on my Facebook page; if you don't have a blogspot password, you can use the anonymous link. Share your views!

tak og Gud velsigne

Bond - Jemma Bond xxx

P.S. - If you see Claus Lillelund from Series Two, tell him I think he's a hottie!